BREAKING THE ICE: Guest Post by Alanna Kalb

In our recent focus on entertaining we've talked about what to wear, how to look good in photos and what gifts to bring.  But perhaps the biggest challenge as a guest is having fun at a party where you don't know anyone but the host.  Recently I asked Alanna Kalb, author of a chic and clever little book called Stuff Every Woman Should Know to wrap up our Spring series on presents and parties by sharing with us her tips for turning a room packed with strangers into a space filled with potential friends.

If life is for living, reason dictates that parties are for partying. And what better way to get in the party spirit than by making new friends? Try to get comfortable talking to anyone, anywhere. It’s a good skill for lots of reasons.  If you don’t know anyone at the party except for your popular host, better to be chatting up a friendly stranger than lurking alone in the kitchen, pretending the ice trays need filling. And who knows who you’ll meet, or what you’ll learn? I’ve made some amazing friends by having the guts to ask some girls to lunch (office party), got an intro course on backpacking through Patagonia by sitting next to my host’s little brother (backyard BBQ), and made a valuable business contact through a friend’s mother (dinner party). Keep an open mind, and do smile at strangers! Below, a three-step guide to making a new friend or, at the very least, staying entertained while you wait in line for the bathroom.

1. Put away your phone, make eye contact and smile.
2. No one is expecting you to charm them with wit and intelligence (although they probably won’t mind if you do). So often we’re too afraid of sounding or acting “wrong” that we don’t do anything at all. Start small- ask how he/she knows the host. Ask where that delicious-looking tofu kebab came from. Ask where she found those beautiful clip-on earrings. You can’t go wrong by asking questions: people love talking about themselves, and they’ll love you for giving them the opportunity.
3. If you just don’t feel comfortable with the in-person cold call, rope your host into making a few introductions. Follow the host around and when you float into a group that seems your type, stay and chat for a while. Repeat as necessary.

(Note: When we’re nervous, we often like to be holding something—and at a party, it’s bound to be a drink. Make sure you don’t gulp down more than you meant to. If you think a few drinks will loosen you up and make you charming, you’re taking the wrong page out of Charlie Sheen’s book.)

You don’t know when the next time is that you’ll be wearing your highest heels, so kick them up! If there’s food and it looks delicious, pile a plate high. Take a whack at the piñata; make a (brief, sincere) toast; catch up with the aunt you haven’t seen in years. Enjoy that party to the fullest and by all means, strike up a chat with the person sitting next to you.

Alanna Kalb is a writer based in New York City. An enthusiast of brunch, parties, and pithy quotations, she is thrilled that Stuff Every Woman Should Know (Quirk Books) gave her a reason to be a modest know-it-all.


Top photo via Megan Gilger on Pinterest. 

THE HOSTESS WARDROBE DILEMMA

When it comes to parties, for me the planning's a breeze.  What to wear when I'm the hostesss, though, that's the dilemma. My outfits of choice for attending a party--dolman sleeve tunic + high-heeled boots in the winter; mini or maxi dress + flats in the summer--don't work well at home when you're cooking, fetching drinks, walking up and down stairs, and still wanting to look chic, calm, cool and collected.  This season I thought the pajama-trend-as-evening-wear held promise--think glamorous satiny palazzos or bold retro print wide leg pants with a simple black top.  Yet, I could not find an example online or in stores worthy of showing here.

So, dear readers, tell me:  what do you wear when hosting your own soiree, and where oh where can we find it? (And if you have great photos of your favorite outfit or a store source, please also post on the Style Maniac Facebook Page.)

Vogue photo via Found In Mom's Basement

PLAN ON SERENDIPITY

"The best parties arise from a mix of 
intense planning and pure serendipity."

-- Style Maniac

Serendipity II courtesy Kerri Shipp

iVITES

When it comes to parties, you can never go wrong with a printed, mailed invitation.  When it comes to impromptu and informal gatherings, though, how can you make your happening stand out from the flood of emails and Facebook notices?  I'm loving what I've dubbed iVites:  cute graphic apps that you create on your iPhone and then send via email or text.  Some you can even post directly to your Facebook profile.  Two fab apps I've come across: POST by Gadabout (shown above) which offers dozens of bright, sweetly modern designs for only 99 cents and Cartolina, with a more limited selection of lush vintage images for $1.99.  In addition to using for invitations you can also send cheery notes and birthday wishes.

CHARM & MAKE BELIEVE

“There seems to be within all of us an innate yearning 

to be lifted momentarily out of our own lives 
into the realm of charm and make believe." 

-- Dorothy Draper {interior decorator, fabulous hostess} 

Isn't that what the best parties do? 

Image via Erin Woolsey on Pinterest.  Original source This Is Glamorous.

PRACTICAL MAGIC 102: Tips on Lighting Your Own Events from Expert Bentley Meeker

Low-key lighting and lanterns enhance the feel of a Tuscan farmhouse at Billy Joel & Katie Lee's wedding.

I sometimes think it's my mission in life to go around dimming lights, a habit I (thankfully) inherited from my mother.  As it turns out, my mom and lighting expert Bentley Meeker have a lot in common.  As you'll see in Meeker's tips for lighting your own events (the conclusion to our series on lighting), dimmers are a girl's--and an event's--best friend.

Dimmers+candlelight= magic at a party for P. Diddy.

STYLE MANIAC:  When you and your company produce a lighting design for an event, what is the single most important thing you want to achieve?
BENTLEY MEEKER: The greatest compliment I've had in a long time was when the esteemed event designer Susan Holland walked into a space we lit and said, "It 'feels' amazing in here ...." That's what I try to achieve every time.

What is the most important thing to keep in mind when lighting an event?
Dimming. Hands down, bar none, dimming.

What's the most flattering light for an event and how can we achieve it with a limited budget?
Candles, incandescent light and dimming. Change out switches to dimmers (should cost about $100 +/- per switch - and every venue would want that done if it isn't already) and use candles.

What is the biggest mistake people make when lighting an event?
They make it too bright, or use LED's to create bold colors but then throw unflattering light into rooms.

Imagine how different this room at the University Club in New York City would look with bright lights.

Can you give Style Maniac readers your three top tips to improve the lighting at any event without spending a lot of money?

1. As evidenced by my book launch, I love candlelight. It still is the most beautiful...
2. Color existing lights by changing bulbs or gelling high hats.
3. Dim everything just a little darker than you initially think it should be. The eye adjusts and that becomes the "sweet spot" for ambiance.

Many thanks to Bentley for graciously sharing his secrets with all of us. For more on his work, visit Bentley Meeker Lighting & Staging Inc. (Photos above via his website, except top photo from Light X Design: 20 Years of Lighting.)

MAGIC IN MOTION: The Launch Party for Light X Design

Before the party: Gotham Hall, almost naked. 
(photo by Roger Dong  from the book Light X Design)

And so I arrived at Gotham Hall, a stunning former bank building on Broadway in New York City, for the launch of Bentley Meeker's new book Light X Design: 20 Years of Lighting.  What did I expect from a party orchestrated by Bentley Meeker Lighting & Staging, the firm that has created the lighting design of countless celebrity weddings, charity concerts and luxury brand events?  I expected to walk into extravagant fireworks, an over-the-top light show that would knock me out.

Instead, I stepped into the glow of candlelight.  Soft rings of fire encircled the room, hundreds of candles and candelabras flickered amber.  At the far end of the space, lines of votives twinkling in a Plexiglas box seemed to lead down an endless path, drawing you into the center of the room, where, oh, maybe 350 people had gathered beneath a soaring dome 100 feet high. And yet, because of those candles the effect was one of an intimate dinner party.  You instantly felt the workday melt away and relaxed easily into cocktails and conversation.

Entering the party: The glow of hundreds and hundreds of candles. These pics taken with my simple camera, don't even begin to capture the soothing, sexy ambiance. (Collage and photos:  Doreen Creede)

And then, about an hour into the party Meeker flipped the switch and transformed the space into the cover of the book.  Magenta, gold and cerulean washed the walls with dappled light; and from that point on the light was like some living thing, changing color, moving, but so subtly that it didn't distract or make you feel you were at a Planetarium light show.  Instead it just made you feel ... amazing.

Midway through the party, the space transforms into the cover of the book.  Other fantastic elements included bonsai sushi stands and floating buffets. (Collage and photos by Doreen Creede except book cover, top right, by Roger Dong)

The delights continued: fantastic elements like floating buffets of exquisite hors d'ouevres, some served in edible pressed corn wonton soup spoons; a never-ending supply of hand rolled sushi arrayed on sprawling bonsai tree stands; a top-shelf bar; a hot deejay. 
 
Had I stayed a bit longer I might have bumped into Sylvia Weinstock (Queen of Wedding Cakes), Jay McInerney (Bright Lights, Big City author) and Patricia Fields (Sex & The City's costume designer), and maybe had a chance to chat about food, fiction and fashion.  As it was, I departed with memories of light dancing in my head, and a promise from Bentley to share some of his secrets with you, dear Style Maniac Readers, so you can create some of this magic yourselves.


p.s.  Here are 8 other ways Bentley Meeker Lighting & Staging have transformed Gotham Hall:

Eight other ways Bentley Meeker Lighting & Staging has transformed Gotham Hall.  (Photos by Roger Dong, David Hechler and Paul Witte from the book, Light X Design: 20 Years of Lighting,  from Glitterati.)

UP NEXT: Practical Magic, Bentley Meeker's easy, inexpensive tips for lighting your home and parties.

LIGHT X DESIGN: The Magic of Bentley Meeker

From the moment I glimpsed an advance cover of Bentley Meeker’s Light X Design: 20 Years of Lighting I not only wanted to review the book, but to develop a series of stories around it.  Light has such a profound effect on our surroundings, our moods, our memories-- our lives.  And yet it's so often an afterthought, or not thought of at all.  But for decades it has been thought about, played with, produced by Bentley Meeker.  He and his firm, Bentley Meeker Lighting & Staging Inc., have created the ambiances for celebrity weddings (Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta Jones, Billy Joel & Katie Lee), luxury brand launches (Christian Dior's J’Adore perfume, Blackberry Bold), superstar charity fundraisers (with Elton John at the piano), extravagant bar mitzvahs (one recreated the Las Vegas strip), and much more.

When my review copy of Light X Design arrived, it delivered, at first glance, just what I expected: page after oversized page of lavish photos, a kaleidoscope of eye candy.  At second glance, I noticed that someone had wisely arranged the book not by event type or chronology but by venue.  And so you realize that the electric blue fairy tale forest of Melissa Rivers’ wedding existed in the same Terrace Room of the Plaza Hotel as a wedding that seems to float on clouds of soft candlelight.  Or that a dizzying two-page spread features 36 shots of the exact same space lit 36 completely different ways.  And yet despite the technical complexity that must go into these projects, according to Meeker the heart of every design--no matter what the occasion, the budget, the client—is to achieve one goal: Make the space and the people in it look and feel incredible.

Frankly, I had not expected to find such straight talk in a coffee table book.  And so I decided to head to New York City for the Light X Design book launch and see for myself just how this mix of simplicity and spectacle worked in real life.  And perhaps see if  Bentley would have a chat. How fabulous would it be to glimpse into the mind of this star lighting designer and translate some of his magic for our everyday lives?

Turns out, pretty fabulous.  

(to be continued ...)

Light X Design: 20 Years of Lighting by Bentley Meeker.  Published by Glitterati Incorporated.   Cover photo of a Cynthia Rowley fashion show by Roger Dong.

LIGHTS. CAMERA. PARTIES.

Come for cocktails, stay for dancing.  We're having a party this month on Style Maniac and you're all invited.  What are we celebrating?  The elements of entertaining itself, as both a hostess and a guest.  LIGHTING:  How to create a killer ambiance, with tips from one of the world's premiere lighting designers.  CAMERA:  How to look great in photos.  PARTIES:  What to wear, what gifts to bring, and how to enjoy your own soiree.  Hang on to your hats, girls, it's going to be quite a ride.

Photo above and in this month's masthead via iPhone Backgrounds app.

BE MY GUEST ... Visit Style Maniac at Robert Allen

I am quite flattered to be joining top designers like Larry Laslo, Scott Sanders and Christiane Lemieux of Dwell Studio in guest posting for premiere fabric company Robert Allen's Design Dialogue blog this month.  Please stop by and see my post Drape, Decorate, Dine: Three Unexpected Ways to Take Fabric from Showroom to Tabletop and meet the three fabrics I invited to travel from trade showroom to your home for a cozy brunch, chic lunch and dramatic dinner.

Dwell Studio for Robert Allen "Soft Scrolls" in Jet.  Photo by Doreen Creede.

SEXY CONFETTI

Who knew pinatas and streamers could be so sexy? 

See more at Confetti System.

p.s. Speaking of party decorations ... 
hope you'll stop by this Saturday for a special blog celebration.

GUESS WHO's COMING TO DINNER

Fashion, meet Decor.  These designers have you covered from your tabletop to your toes.  See if you can guess who's coming to dance and dine.  {Answers will be posted in the Comments on Friday.}  Have a lovely Thanksgiving holiday!

RE-USE: Armoire to Bar

My decorating partnership, The Redecorators LLC, began business with the premise that we would use what you have to give you a new look--often in one day. Immediately (as in, with our first client) that segued into full interior decorating services.  We've since ripped out kitchens, walls and floors; designed custom furniture and drapery; and turned completely empty spaces into beautiful and comfortable rooms to live in.  Still, Gina and I always look at how we can use existing furniture, art and accessories in new ways.  For example: turn a bedroom armoire into a living room bar, as we did for a charity event at the Grange Showroom in Philadelphia's Marketplace Design Center. (For more details, plus Before & Afters of that project visit Dust & Chandeliers.)  It's true: we're always looking for a place to corral cocktails! For more unconventional bar ideas, check out Everyday Style Tip: Set Up Bar from the style files.

Photo by Doreen Creede.  Yes that's me reflected in the mirror--and wearing the vintage silver and blue Victor Costa dress mentioned in last month's post, 5 Fabulous Sources for Vintage Fashion.  Funny how I didn't notice that until I enlarged the pic for this post!